“How do we navigate major life changes with intention rather than fear?“
Life pivots rarely arrive with clear instructions. They often come disguised as endings, disruptions, or moments of quiet dissatisfaction that are hard to name. While some pivots are chosen, others are imposed—but all require adaptation.
This foundational article looks at what it really means to pivot in adulthood: emotionally, practically, and psychologically. Rather than focusing on dramatic reinvention, it explores the smaller, cumulative shifts that shape how we live, work, and relate to ourselves over time.
If you are facing change—or sensing that something needs to change—this piece provides a framework for understanding pivots as a normal and even necessary part of a meaningful life.
Are you starting to feel like the “you” you’ve always known doesn’t quite fit anymore?
Change is awkward. Growth is messy. But those little tugs of discomfort? They’re your spirit whispering that the old way of living isn’t enough anymore.
For those over fifty, when we finally get uncomfortable enough, we listen. We start looking for fresh ideas, new perspectives, and a life that feels like it actually belongs to us.
At the Crossroads
Ever wonder why you can’t find inspiration no matter where you look? Many people arrive at mid-life transitions feeling stuck, especially when:
- You’ve just become an empty nester
- Life threw a curveball you didn’t see coming
- You’ve shifted from a coupled life to a solo lifestyle you weren’t prepared for and you’re seeking inspiration and mentorship
If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.
The Freedoms After 50
Usually by midlife there might be a little more stability there, some savings in the bank, the extra costs and time involved with raising kids might be subsiding. Sometimes you are better positioned to make adjustments at this time.
If you’re living solo at this time, here’s the good news: solos are perfectly positioned to make bold pivots. Why? Because you’re 100% in charge of your own journey.
For that reason, even if you feel unprepared, there’s a beautiful life waiting—full of new people, new experiences, and new purpose.
Midlife isn’t about winding down. It’s about gearing up.
If you’re partnered, you may have some negotiation that needs to be done. But don’t let that stop you from speaking up. Let your partner know that you are changing from within. Discuss how best to navigate this shift. For all you know, your partner may be feeling the same pulls toward a new way of living as well. You aren’t letting them down, you’re honouring the relationship by always keeping the conversation going and showing up as who you authentically are.
Mindset Matters: Ditch the Negative Self-Talk
Making a pivot comes with a mix of excitement, fear, and a whole lot of unknowns. The trick is to focus on what fuels you forward:
- Stop waiting for other people’s permission
- Forget the negative chatter in your head
- Trust your instincts—they’ve carried you this far
This is the gift of midlife: wisdom, perspective, and lived experience. Use it.
Common Thoughts That Hold Us Back
For years, I shut myself down before I even began. My incredibly efficient inner gatekeeper always had something to say:
- “I don’t even know the first thing about this.”
- “It’s likely to fail.”
- “Nobody will think it’s of interest.”
- “Who do I think I am?”
Sound familiar? These thoughts stop us before we even take the first step. But the truth is—you’ll never know unless you try.
Become a Believer: Choose a Different and More Positive Mid-Life Mindset
I’ve noticed that the believers, the ones who say “why not?”, end up living the most enriched lives. Sure, their path isn’t exactly smooth but it’s meaningful. And they’re content. And boy do they have a story to share.
That’s what I want for me. That’s what I want for you.
First Thing’s First: Prepare
To begin with, taking stock of where you are now, where you’d like to be. Sometimes that means a little exploration on finding your true identity first because we just don’t know anymore who we authentically are.
Once you have an idea where you’d like to set a course in a new direction, you need to look at the potential pitfalls you may face during the time of change so you can navigate the hills and valleys as they come. That doesn’t mean people shouldn’t go for that pivot. It means you don’t go in blindly, without considering both the wonders and the not so wonderful that you may experience.
There are some unique benefits and also some challenges for solos, that can sometimes prevent us from taking that leap. Don’t let it! Go in with your eyes wide open and a determined heart.
Leap of Faith
You may be living as one in a world built for two if you’re on your own, and that can sometimes be a struggle.
- Economic security for now, and for the future, is unquestionably more difficult when you have nobody to share the financial cost of living.
- There is no second salary to curb the financial risks that come with changes.
- There may be less people around you to bounce ideas off of
- Sometimes we need someone who knows us well to keep us grounded in reality
- It’s harder to ask for help from others because there is no unspoken pact to be there for each other for support, the way it is for couples.
It can take a huge leap of faith to put yourself out there and start making the changes you know will lead to a more fulfilling life. But here’s the thing—even if nobody else fully understands why you’re choosing to invest your time and energy this way, you’ll still come out ahead because…
- You’ll gain clarity through action. Even small steps toward your own dreams help you learn by doing—and in the process, you’ll discover more about yourself.
- You’ll have gone after your dreams. No second-guessing, no “what ifs.” You’ll know you gave it a shot instead of letting your inner gatekeeper hold you back—solo or not.
- You’ll attract kindred spirits. Making changes that align with your true self creates space for the right people to show up and connect with you in meaningful ways.
“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”
Hunter S. Thompson, The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman, 1955-1967.
Mindset Reboot
Solo reboots: If you’re a little stuck in the mindset that you are somehow lacking something because you are unpartnered, it’s time for a mindset reboot. Solos are the ones with the most freedom. Usually, solos can make changes faster because they don’t have two lives to redesign.
In this respect, solos are fortunate. You may be underestimating just how important your solo autonomy is at this pivotal time.
If you want to relocate, start researching! You get to decide where and when. Trust me, you’ll find creative ways to keep those you love in your life, with the use of technology and the willingness to make it so.
If you are thinking of a career change, but the new job won’t pay as much as the old, (and as long as you can still satisfy basic living needs), go for it! You are not letting anybody else down.
And nobody else can tell you what is and is not worth sacrificing for.
Partnered Up Reboots: When you’re in a relationship with someone quite different from you, compromise can sometimes mean neither of you feels fully authentic, as you’ve settled for the middle ground. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Both partners need to be willing to make intentional choices and create space that honours each person’s individuality alongside the unity of the relationship. Is it challenging at times? Absolutely. Yet, the most meaningful things in life require effort. So embrace that “can do” spirit and keep moving forward, my friend. You deserve a life free of regrets and full of authenticity.
Could These Be Your Pivots?
Maybe you always wanted to be an artist but you feel you have no talent…start making the art as a hobby instead, and call yourself an artist!
Could it be that you are filled with wanderlust and you lie awake at night listening to the waves from some distant shoreline calling your name?
Some people design a life that alternates between working short term contracts and months of travel and manage to do it successfully. Even a transition to remote work can help to make this dream a reality for you if you truly want it to happen.
I know a couple who both work full-time for 2-3 years, saving as much as possible, and then they take a year leave of absence from work and travel for a year. They have spent their entire careers doing this. Some years they just strictly travel. Other years they pick up project based gigs overseas. It’s a lifestyle they both chose for themselves and they couldn’t be happier with the choices and the sacrifices they’ve made to make it work.
Find those people to learn from (there are Facebook groups for working nomads) and manifest, manifest, manifest!
Don’t Risk Having Any Regrets
Of most importance, figure out what could potentially be a future regret of yours. What do you think you might look back on and say, “I really wish I had found the confidence to go after what I dreamed of way back when”. Chasing down dreams is what makes life so exciting! In fact, it makes all the difference between a life well lived and one filled with compromises.
SO HERE WE GO!…a leap of faith into the great unknown. Join me and countless others who have understood that now is their time. Take those first few tentative steps in creating a unique and fulfilling life. It is my greatest wish that you’ll feel your light beginning to shine as you come into your own with confidence, true love for yourself and you begin to flourish!
Your Turn to Pivot: Start Today
Take a quiet moment and ask yourself:
- What kind of life would I love to live?
- What possibilities feel exciting, even if they’re a little scary?
Write it down. Post it where you’ll see it every day. Share it with someone you know is in your corner. Most importantly—start today. Start telling yourself that you may not know yet how you’re going to make it happen, but you’ve decided, “It’s going to happen!” Believe it!
“No dress rehearsal, this is our life”
lyrics by The Tragically Hip
The Guardian has run a series on “New Start After 60”, featuring the stories of regular people who have made bold changes in their life after the age of 60. This may be something you’d like to read to be inspired with your own life pivot.
Don’t forget to visit my youtube channel where I try to post a related video for each blog topic. And if you like what you see, please give it a “like” and “subscribe” so we can spread the word and grow the solo community in Canada. www.youtube.com@/soloincanada
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