Maybe you’ve noticed it too, in this technology focused world.
You’re in the living room, and the only sound is thumbs tapping on screens. Everyone’s on their phone. If you’re over 50, it’s easy to feel a bit sidelined. We look at our kids or grandkids and think, They’re lost in those devices. There’s a quiet satisfaction in knowing we grew up valuing face-to-face chats, real conversations.
And still… we also keep scrolling. We’re on our device too.
We set our phone down when someone shares a story, wondering why others don’t. The difference? It’s easier for us to unplug. We didn’t grow up with screens as our constant companion—they’re a habit we picked up later in life.
Often we’ve used it primarily for work and some social media. But not near as much as Millenials and younger people do. They use tech in every aspect of their lives, it goes way beyond the workday. It’s their entertainment, their butler (think the “nest”), their replacement social world, their “go to” advisor, their pseudo self-help guru, their trainer, their inspirational coach, and yes, their primary means of communication.
But here’s something I’ve been mulling over: when we lean too hard on “old-school values” as a point of pride, we might unintentionally create distance. Not right away, perhaps. But over time.
Technology hasn’t just changed communication—it’s shifted where family life happens. If we step back entirely, we risk becoming the relative who’s harder to include. Not out of unkindness, but simply because busy lives favour the path of least friction.
I catch myself doing it, and I really should know better—I rely on tech daily. When I meet someone who proudly says they avoid it all (“If it’s important, they’ll call”), I feel the conversation fade. Same age group, but suddenly less in common.
A Glimpse Ahead: Lessons from Those in Their 70s and Beyond
Look at folks now in their 70s and 80s for a preview of what’s possible—both the rewarding paths and the cautionary ones.
Over the past couple decades, a divide has emerged.
On one side: those who embraced tech early, often through work or curiosity. They’re in the family group chats, seeing grandkids’ photos and videos as they happen, sharing funny reels, joining online groups for hobbies like gardening or woodworking.
On the other: those who drew firm lines—“I don’t need email,” then “No online banking.” Those choices, understandable at the time, have quietly built walls. Families adapt by summarizing digitally-shared news in calls—but that doesn’t always happen reliably. Often, the result isn’t a simpler life, just a less shared life. The elders in our community are isolated, for many reasons, but a significant one is the unwillingness, or inability, to learn tech skills and move into the main pathways for social engagement.
I’ve seen this play out, sometimes with husbands relying on wives to bridge the gap. No one means harm; it’s just logistics—old habits from a time when one partner handled the phone calls or passed along the news.
You might say this kind of thing happened anyway, even long before digital life took over. Fair point; intermediaries have always existed in families.
But here’s a quiet difference tech can make: when the family patriarch joins the group chat himself, using his own account, sends the occasional photo, or chimes in with a quick comment, he builds those bonds directly. No filter, no summary required. It’s a small shift that can strengthen relationships all around, keeping everyone a little closer and a little more independent at the same time.
The good news? Recent data from Stats Canada shows many of us 50+ are adapting well—smartphone ownership among Canadians has risen sharply in recent years, with strong uptake especially for staying connected to loved ones.
However, I suspect much of that growth is coming from the 50-70 crowd like us. Those in their late 70s and beyond still seem less likely to dive in—perhaps out of accessibility challenges, caution, or simply feeling they’ve managed fine without it so far. Fair enough; no judgement here. But as we move into those later decades ourselves, we have a chance to shift the pattern because tech is now a mainstay and only going to get even more central to everyone.
Let’s be the generation that preserves cherished traditions while embracing the digital and upcoming AI age—not replacing the old ways, but blending them together. As consumers, we can advocate for tools that support vision challenges on screens and apps designed to assist with declining abilities.
By speaking up and demanding these resources, we ensure seniors have access to the technology they need. This way, we remain part of the conversation and inspire future generations by showing them how it’s done.
The Divide Within Our Own Generation
We’re not all the same. In the 50–70 crowd, tech comfort varies—often tied to the kind of work we did for decades.
Some of us spent years in roles that brought computers, tablets, or digital systems right into daily routines. Office workers certainly navigated the shift from paper files to screens and cloud storage (and we still grumble about endless updates). But many others outside traditional desks became quietly familiar with tech too.
Nurses and healthcare workers, truck drivers and logistics folks, those in education, even skilled tradespeople—electricians, HVAC technicians, mechanics—now work with diagnostic tools, smart controls, and mobile work-order apps.
All of these roles gave people steady, practical exposure. The tools were just part of getting the job done.
Then there’s the group whose careers stayed more hands-on and offline. Construction sites, outdoor work, drivers, stay-at-home moms or smaller operations that never needed computers on the floor. For them, a smartphone might handle calls and texts just fine, but the deeper layers—accounts, security settings, apps, AI—can still feel unfamiliar or unnecessary.
That second group faces the steeper learning curve now. The rest of us have a head start, even if we don’t feel like experts.
Younger folks don’t always grasp yet how vital real connection is (ironically, Gen Z reports high loneliness despite constant online access). But we can’t share our hard-won wisdom if we’re not in the same (digital) room.
The Conversation Trap—and a Gentler Way Forward
Lecturing younger people about “the lost art of conversation” rarely lands. It asks them to meet us on our turf.
We’re the ones who know why presence matters. So perhaps the bridge-building starts with us: show curiosity about your kids’ Millenial or Gen Z worlds —games, apps, video trends (even the silly ones). Not because it’s superior, but because that’s where connections often begin now.
If you happen to have grandkids or when they come along, get them to show you how to play that video game they seem to love. Ask them about the new technologies as they develop and how they make use of them in their worlds.
Once trust is there, invite them offline—for a slice of pizza at the local eatery, a walk, a few hours of fishing, or even a ball game. Let them feel the warmth of undivided attention. Show, don’t tell. Nobody’s ever too old for this.
The old ways still shine. They just need a modern invitation.
Our Unassuming Strength in a Synthetic World
We’re entering an era of AI images, deepfakes, algorithm-shaped views. Younger generations navigate a world where “real” is harder to spot.
Here’s where our experience becomes gold: we remember unfiltered reality—the crack in a voice filled with emotion, the feel of true presence.
If we stay somewhat current, we can guide gently: spot glitches, question biases, discuss ethics. We become trusted allies, not outsiders.
Start conversations lightly—never “Back in my day…” (we all know that’s a non-starter).
Hanging In—Because It Matters
Opting out of the latest app might feel like principle. But it hands our connections to chance.
Tech is now the family album, the event planner, the daily check-in. Sharing a photo keeps you visible.
Especially through changes—divorce, moves, loss—online spaces can bridge isolation.
As we ease into retirement chapters, staying gently current pays off. Not mastering everything—just enough to use what loved ones use. Free YouTube tutorials abound. Ask a grandchild to show you their favourite app; they’ll light up feeling needed.
It’s a harsh reality: some younger voices online dismiss “boomers.” This soon will extend to trailing boomers, known as “Gen Jones,” born 1955-1964, as well as older Gen Xers born 1965-1972, often targeted in frustrated rants. Overlooking the value of experience is shortsighted, yet it remains common.
We counter it best by staying engaged, contributing our perspective.
We’ve got decades ahead, plenty of energy left.
We can be the bridge—understanding both worlds, embracing tech without losing the human touch.
Let’s keep the span strong.
Enjoy this free pdf on “Staying connectedL tips in a world with increasing AI”
I also have a YouTube channel @SoloinCanada on all things mid-life+.
If you’re considering what life may be like once retired, enjoy my video below.
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