(And Why Comfort Can Shrink Your World)
When Life Feels Smaller… It’s Usually Because We Stopped Stretching
If there’s one thing I’ve noticed about life after 50, it’s this: We don’t actually get stuck — unless we stop stretching. And I don’t mean stretching like touching your toes (though, let’s be real, we all should be doing that too after 50).
I mean stretching your mind, your routine, your comfort zone, your creativity, your curiosity, your sense of what’s possible now. The kind of stretching that reminds you that yes, you’re still very much alive, and there’s plenty more life to shape, taste, test, and explore. There’s definitely more personal growth coming your way.
We Think the Big Shifts Happen in Our 20s… But Life After 50 Has Its Own Magic, It’s Personal Growth
In our 20s through 40s, change is constant. Careers shift. Families grow. Moves happen. Failures sting. Wins surprise us.
Then, somewhere around 50 or 60 (barring unexpected personal disasters), everything settles. But if life hasn’t thrown the mother of all curveballs your way like it did me, and/or once you have stabilized yourself, we do settle into a bit of a comfort zone.
We know what we like.
We know what we won’t tolerate (group projects… hard pass for me).
We know our favourite restaurants, our favourite music, our favourite people.
And honestly? It’s cozy, familiar, comforting and easy going.
But here’s the truth we rarely notice:
Comfort can make our world just a little too small.
Routines are wonderful — until they begin to shrink our sense of possibility.
If I’m not careful, I can read non-fiction stuff on my laptop all day long and forget to do anything. That’s why I’ve got these regular activities built into my week/month, but they are still a part of my own comfort:
- my weekly women’s group and my choir rehearsals
- yoga and gym workouts
- Sunday morning walks
- breakfasts with friends
- book clubs and social club meetings
- time spent with family
It’s a beautiful life. But without new experiences sprinkled in? I’d wake up one day wondering, “When did my world get so small?” When did my own personal growth slow way down?
Stretching — even in tiny, almost invisible ways — is how we keep breathing fresh air into our lives.
Stretching Yourself Doesn’t Need to Be Dramatic
No need to learn Mandarin or hike the Himalayas… unless you want to.
The best stretches are small. Little nudges that shift you 2%, not 200%.
Here are some of mine — and maybe some ideas for you too.
✔️ Take a Class Just Because You’re Curious
I started taking Coursera courses. They’re free. They make my brain light up.
✔️ Go on Local Outings
It’s amazing how a new view can wake you up.
✔️ Talk to Someone You Usually Wouldn’t
This one is natural for me — I talk to strangers all the time.
And honestly? Those tiny conversations have changed my life course more than once. For others, this might be the stretch of all stretches.
But I promise: people have gold to offer, even in 20-second snippets.
✔️ Try a New Recipe (Even If You’re Not a Foodie)
This one I need motivation for. I’m just not that into cooking or baking. But with winter coming, maybe it’s time for a plant-based eating project. I’m going to see if there’s a short workshop being offered in my area ‘just for the fun of it’.
✔️ Rearrange a Room
I recently swapped my living room and dining room. Instant mood lift. Maybe you’ll create a new space within your home for a recent activity you have begun, like a new craft room, or a meditation space. If you do something regularly and it’s a part of your everyday world, maybe it’s time to invite it in on a more permanent basis.
✔️ Join a Meetup Where You Know No One
Honestly, meetups have saved me more than once. I’ve joined plenty. I’ve even started a few. I’ve made some lasting friendships that began when we both decided to come walking into a room solo. Whether you’re single or partnered (especially if your partner still works). Find your people. You’ll never regret it.
✔️ Say “Yes” When You Want to Say “Eh, Maybe Later”
I say “no” to a lot — but I’ve learned to recognize when it’s laziness vs. genuine disinterest.
So when I have no good reason to decline, I say “yes”.
I won’t lie: on the day of, I often regret it and consider bailing. But I know I need to push myself to go, so usually I do. And 98% of the time?
I’m so glad I did.
It lifts my mood and stops my world from shrinking.
✔️ Learn or Relearn Something That Makes You Feel Young Again
My brother, while recovering from recent surgery, decided it was time to really learn Spanish on Duolingo, rather than just getting by with the small number of words he already knew.
A friend of mine and her husband picked up skating again after 30 years. They now go twice a week to their local arena and love it! They come out of the skate feeling invigorated, less achy and more motivated to do even more new things. It’s joyful and energizing. Is that something you might consider doing? You can go to these things alone you know, lots of people do.
If ice skating isn’t your thing, why not try roller skating? It’s a fun throwback to the past. I used to go to our local roller rink every Friday night during my pre-teen years, and I have such wonderful memories from those times. I can still vividly picture it, especially when I hear songs like “Bad, Bad Leroy Brown” or “Horse With No Name” on the radio. If you’re in Toronto, I recently heard that Union Station hosts weekly roller skating sessions somewhere inside its vast building. Definitely check it out, even if just to watch. That’s a spot I’d visit often if I lived there.
Start a New Hobby
I like to take on a new hobby every few years, and this year it’s my YouTube channel and this blog. They keep me incredibly busy, and the learning curve is steep. But I’m loving every minute—motivated, challenged, and having a blast. Before this, I focused on hand-lettering, and prior to that, pickleball. For me, the excitement lies in the novelty. New hobbies take center stage while the older ones gradually fade. It’s the natural ebb and flow of growth and curiosity that I find most rewarding.
✔️ Attend a Talk That’s Completely Out of Your Usual Zone
Last week, I had the chance to hear Adam Shoalts speak—a contemporary Canadian explorer who journeys across the tundra equipped with only a backpack, a tent, and an indomitable spirit. He often travels solo or with a few equally adventurous, like-minded risk-takers. Throughout his life, he has undertaken these expeditions and also leads wilderness treks for groups.
It was absolutely captivating. He has authored seven books detailing his adventures. His presentation featured stunning slides showcasing breathtaking photos of the wild landscapes and the incredible wildlife he encountered. With a fantastic sense of humor, his talk was both informative and inspiring. And it only cost me ten dollars!
I went alone.
Met lovely people.
Left inspired.
Not to trek across the tundra, but to continue to go to these types of guest speaker events.
I’ve thought about his stories many times since and I’m so glad I went.
✔️ Buy Tickets for Random Local Events
I recently toured a military base—an experience I never would have chosen on my own. I decided to go only because I received an email from one of my social clubs for semi- and fully retired members announcing extra tickets were available. It turned out to be a truly enriching and educational experience.
We had the opportunity to see many vehicles used in Europe during WWI and WWII, including jeeps, trucks, tanks, and motorcycles, as well as those deployed during the Afghanistan tours. The soldier leading the tour shared detailed insights about the harsh conditions they faced, how they managed daily necessities like food, warmth, and safety, and told fascinating military stories and anecdotes.
It turned out to be fascinating, enjoyable, and unexpectedly captivating for me. Who would have thought?
This is the power of stretching:
You learn. You grow. You surprise yourself.
These Tiny Stretches Add Up
They build confidence. They build momentum. They can sometimes be an action plan when you feel like you are looking for your new identity in midlife. They remind you:
You’re capable of surprise — and your story is still unfolding.
And when winter rolls in, with shorter days and quieter nights, these stretches become even more essential. They keep us from drifting into hermit-mode. They keep the spark alive.
Your Brain Loves Newness
A neuroscientist I heard in an interview recently (wish I could remember which one!) said that trying new things — even very small ones — creates new neural pathways and it’s absolutely necessary for good brain health to keep it up as we age. It’s a pillar of healthy aging.
People who:
- get out daily
- learn new things
- and speak to people they don’t know
show less cognitive decline.
Even daily human interaction is critical. And here’s the interesting part:
You’d think that couples would fare better because their social interaction is built in, but the studies don’t back that up.
This happens because they often sit together at events, only speaking to each other. When they interact with others, they do so as a pair rather than individuals. Afterwards, they go home with nothing new to share, having experienced the same conversations. Imagine how much more they could grow if they attended social events separately. No crutch, right? That’s exactly the point! Showing up alone in new settings can be intimidating, but it pushes you to grow in ways you never expected.
If you’re in a relationship, make it a point to do a few things solo every week. You might be surprised at how much more approachable you seem to strangers when you’re not sitting next to your partner. Step out, meet new people, start conversations, and embark on new adventures on your own. Then return home and share your experiences. You’ll bring back fresh stories, and your partner will have new ones to share with you.
And if you’re already thinking “What? I can’t do that,” then that’s important feedback, isn’t it? You’ve become too dependent on one relationship. Time to branch out.
Your brain — and your relationship — will thank you.
Stretching Yourself Helps You Keep Transforming—At Any Age
The biggest myth about mid-life is that the story is already written.
That we’ve become who we’re going to become.
That the path is set, and all that’s left is to follow it to the end.
But that’s simply not true.
Mid-life is often the first time we actually have the clarity, courage, and space to shape our lives with intention instead of obligation. It’s the midlife pivot!
Every tiny stretch — a new class, a new friend, a new skill, a new adventure — shifts something inside us.
It adds a new thread to who we are becoming.
It reopens a door we didn’t realize we’d quietly closed.
Ask yourself. If I were solo right now with no prospect of re-partnering and only 40 years old, and all the other conditions of my world existed as they do now, what would I likely be doing differently? How would my dreams and my outlook change?
Well, why can’t you build it into your life and your circumstance now? YOU CAN!!!
Honestly, if I had thought that way, I never would have become a writer at this stage in my life. I would have listened to society’s whispers: “Retired women in their 60s don’t start YouTube channels,” or “Only professionally trained writers are allowed to write.” And the worst of all, “What if no one wants to read what I write?” But I refused to let those self-limiting beliefs take root in my soul.
I had no clue what I was doing. I was operating without a manual or a map, or anyone to bounce ideas off of. I’m learning as I go. It’s a whole new world and I’m having a blast!
If you’ve got an idea and want to begin pursuing it, even if the end result could possibly never be realized, Go for it!
Haven’t you heard? “It’s the journey, not the destination, that makes life meaningful”.
We can transform at 50.
We can transform at 60.
We can transform at 70, 80, or 90.
Seek Out Your Mentors
If you are surrounded by friends and family who are living small lives themselves, and who tend to also discourage you from “having big ideas,” it’s harder to be the outlier.
But think about this. Maybe they need a beacon. Maybe you need to be the one to model for them, how to stop their own lives from getting too small.
If you encounter dismissive or negative feedback, it may be time to expand your circle. Seek out those who live with curiosity and invite them into your community. Avoid surrounding yourself only with people who resist growth and reinvention. Such company can drain your energy and stifle your potential.
The final thought I hope you’ll take with you today:
A life that keeps stretching is a life that keeps expanding.
And a life that keeps expanding never really gets old.
If you’re interested in reading more of my blog articles click here
If you’d like to read The Guardian’s series on “A New Start After 60” you might find some inspiration from other ‘regular people’ who have made bold changes at this time of their lives.
Check out my YouTube Channel by the same name. Here’s one video you may find interesting. Click the red triangle below.
Here’s a link to an article on reinventing yourself after retirement by a Canadian source.
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